Are all first love like this?
My first love was not your K-drama type of man, the perfect man who sweeps you off your feet with sweet nothings and serenades your ears with heavenly promises. My first love was a miracle that came out of the blue.
It wasn't love at first sight, far from it. It was the progressive kind of love; a kind of love that embraces you in so much warmth and care. A love that makes you feel alive and seen. A love that gives a listening ear, a love that loves your essence and existence, a love that keeps you going and most of all, a love that holds your hands through the darkness of life.
He was my first love.
He made me see life through a different lens. He taught me new things, enabled my strengths and pushed me to be the blinding light that I am. He was truly there; I call him a worthy soldier.
But...
There was a ‘but’, for then came the breaks. It was very silly at first because we were not in a relationship, we were just friends. Yes, I loved him but we weren't dating. Do friends take breaks?
It became a series of breaks, reuniting and connecting and then, breaks again. It was an endless cycle that came bearing baggage of hurt and pain. It felt like I couldn’t breathe, and even tears deserted me in this trying period. I felt like I was running mad. I just wanted to sleep and not feel but my thoughts had other ideas -they kept whirling in my head, wondering what I should have done differently.
My first love was sweet until it wasn't again, it became a sweet-sour experience.
Do I want to love again? YES!
Will I be able to love again? YES!
How will these things be? They will be because now I’ve encountered the one who should have been my first love. I’ve met with the being called Jesus, my Abba. His love doesn’t make my teeth ache, his love keeps chasing after me. His love keeps me on the high, not the drug-induced kind, but a higher dimension of high. I’m love drunk and I’m never turning back for I’ve learned how to love from the originator of love.
And to my first love, you gave me a taste of what is called love. Thank you. Through you, I learned to seek for a higher dimension of love which I got. And thank you but no thank you. I’ve closed the door to the endless cycle. I’ve tasted a new wine and it tastes like heaven. I’ve moved to the new.
To my question, are all first loves like this? Are they always a mixed bag or was yours a love written in heaven?😉
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